


See Me

by scarletmanuka



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Crossdressing, Eddie Diaz Needs a Hug (9-1-1 TV), Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, Laughter During Sex, M/M, Remembered homophobic slurs, Secrets, Smut, Supportive Evan "Buck" Buckley, it's not unrequited they're just idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-28 08:07:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30136518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletmanuka/pseuds/scarletmanuka
Summary: Since childhood, Eddie has liked occasionally dressing in women's clothing. He likes being a man, doesn't feel conflicted over his gender, he just feels empowered, confident, and sexy when he's in pretty lingerie and a towering pair of heels. It's always been his secret...until suddenly it's not.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 43
Kudos: 188





	1. Chapter 1

If Eddie was asked when it started, he couldn’t say for sure. Was it when he was five and he dressed up in his mother’s clothes when playing dress ups with his sisters? Or was it when he was thirteen and he’d tried on the silk panties that belonged to his best friend’s sister (that he’d found on the bathroom floor during a sleepover)? Or had he always had the urge buried deep within him and nothing in particular had triggered it? According to his father’s rants as he thrashed Eddie to within an inch of his life after the first time, little boys who dressed up in women’s clothes were bound to end up as sissy boys. Was that true? Not that Eddie considered himself a sissy, nor any of the other horrid homophobic things that his father had called him over the years, but was there an essence of truth to it? Had wearing one of his mother’s dresses as a five year old triggered in him the desire to dress in women’s clothing?

He didn’t _think_ so, since over the years he’d seen numerous boys dress in skirts or dresses or shawls and none of them seemed inclined to do so now. Well, not openly anyway. Which didn’t particularly help his case since how could he be _certain_ that the correlation wasn’t there when he didn't have all the facts? But the truth of the matter was, he liked women. He also liked men. And occasionally he liked to dress in women’s clothes.

The clothing didn't make him feel confused about his gender at all. He didn't _want_ to be a woman. He simply enjoyed the feeling of a long skirt swishing around his ankles, or the soft, slinky feel of a silk teddy, or the way that his calves looked defined and taut in a pair of heels. The clothes made him feel empowered, confident, and sexy.

As he grew older, he never confided in anyone about his secret. The words that his father had spoken to him and the _tone_ that he’d used had stuck with Eddie and he hadn’t wanted anyone else to speak to him in such a manner. So he’d bottled it up inside and kept that part of himself hidden. He never told Shannon and he’d had to go without during his time in the army, of course. After his medical discharge, it had been easy enough to keep it concealed from Shannon as they grew more and more apart. He grew bolder, and took the chance of ordering a pale pink lingerie set from a website that he’d come across late one night when he’d been plagued by nightmares and couldn’t sleep. Unfortunately, it was Shannon who collected the post the day that his package had arrived and she’d opened it before he’d gotten home. When he’d lied and said that he’d bought it for her, she’d cried and gotten upset, fixating on the bigger size and accusing him of thinking that she was fat. He’d ended up sending it back and getting a refund.

It was over a year before he felt comfortable enough to indulge and in that time Shannon had left him and he’d moved himself and Christipher to LA. He didn't get much time to himself as a single parent but there were times when he was off or starting a shift late that coincided with Christopher being at school. Eddie was sure to seize the moment.

He didn’t have much cash to spare but he picked up the odd piece of clothing from secondhand shops or just from Walmart. He ordered himself a few pieces of lingerie from a cheap online store. He slowly slowly began to build up a small collection of clothes that he kept in one of his topmost drawers, above where Christopher could reach. It wasn’t a lot but what he had was precious and he enjoyed the stolen moments when he could get them.

On one day off after he’d just started with the 118, he’d had the entire day to himself while Christopher stayed with Abuela. He’d settled in for a whole day of pampering, starting with running himself a bubble bath, and soaking until his skin was soft and his muscles relaxed. He dried himself off with the fluffiest towel that he owned and then rubbed some scented oil into his skin before dressing reverently in his favourite lingerie set. 

It was a sheer whilte babydoll, with a soft fluffy frill around the hem and matching panties in the same sheer material that cupped his flaccid cock and balls perfectly. He slipped on a pair of heels that he’d bought off of a drag queen on Craigslist, and added a string of fake pearls around his throat. When he looked at his reflection in the full length mirror on his bedroom wall, his breath hitched and his cock began to fill. He turned this way and that, admiring the way that the hem of the babydoll moved around his legs and he smoothed his hands down over his ribs, teasing the skin underneath. 

He felt _alive_ for the first time in months. In that moment he wasn’t Christopher’s dad or a probationary firefighter or a disappointment to his father - he was simply himself, and he felt _good._ He wanted to capture the moment but hesitated as he reached for his phone. To take a photo on his phone was risky - if he kept it on the device, there was a good chance that someone would see it eventually. If he uploaded it to the cloud, well, he wasn’t overly confident about how secure that actually was. He wanted this for _him,_ no one else. 

He remembered the old polaroid camera that Pepa had given to Christopher when they had first moved in and it didn’t take long to find it and check that it had film. Before he could overthink it or lose the feeling entirely, Eddie snapped a photo of himself in the mirror. He shook the slide in his hand and slowly the film developed. His breath caught as he looked at himself, captured on film.

He looked _gorgeous._

He’d never felt so damn sexy in his life and he was suddenly horny as hell. Dumping the camera on the bedside table, Eddie lay back on the bed, his cock rock hard by now and the tip peeking out from underneath the panties. He traced a finger over his hard length, feeling himself quiver in anticipation. It had been _so long_ since he’d had the opportunity to take his time, to draw this out as opposed to jerking himself off hurriedly in the shower. He teased himself lightly with one hand, the other coming up to rub over his hardening nipples, the sheer material adding a whole new dimension to the sensation. He stretched the panties as far as they would go, managing to cover the head of his cock as well, soaking the material in his precome. 

He finally pushed down the panties, trapping them under his balls, allowing his cock to spring free. He began to stroke himself in earnest, all the while his free hand roved over his body, feeling the hard ridges of his muscles beneath the soft material of the babydoll. He was on the edge too soon but not soon enough and before he knew it, he was crying out and spilling over his fist. He milked himself for all he was worth, and even afterwards as he lay, catching his breath, he continued to trace his fingers over and over his torso, delighting in the feel of the lingerie on his body. 

He carefully hand washed everything afterwards and once it was dry, he reverently packed it all away into the drawer, the polaroid photo hidden between the babydoll and his favourite skirt. He never let too much time pass in between dressing up but it was never as often as he wished. But he was happy, happier than he’d ever been with the life that he’d built in LA and the family that he’d found. He felt more like himself than he ever had, but even still, there was a tiny piece missing, that only slotted into place when he was able to indulge in those stolen moments. 

But it was enough. It had to be.

* * *

“Oops,” Christopher said, looking at Buck with wide eyes.

Buck looked down at himself, snorting as he saw that he was absolutely covered in ketchup. “That’s okay, buddy, accidents happen.” He gently took the bottle from Chris to spare any further incidents and placed it on the table before standing and fetching a dishcloth to try and mop himself off with. 

“I don’t think that’s working,” Chris said with a laugh.

“I think you’re right,” Buck said, throwing the cloth into the sink. “I’m just smearing it everywhere. How about you stay here and finish eating those dinosaur nuggets of yours and I’ll go and raid your Dad’s wardrobe for something clean to wear?”

Chris nodded and picked up a nugget, sweeping it liberally through the ketchup that had actually ended up on his plate. Buck grinned at him and then headed down the hall to Eddie’s bedroom, peeling off his clothes as he went so he wouldn’t drip ketchup everywhere and tossing them in the bathroom as he passed. It wouldn’t be long before Eddie was home, as he was at a parent/teacher evening with Carla and then the three of them could sit and watch a movie together before Christopher’s bedtime. It was a regular evening for them, with Buck spending more time at the Diaz house than at his own apartment. It felt more like home than anywhere else ever had and Eddie and Chris seemed to genuinely enjoy his company. They were the family that he never thought that he’d get to have. He wished that he could have more with Eddie but if this was all that he’d ever be able to have, then he’d still be happier than he’d ever been before.

Once in Eddie’s bedroom, Buck headed for the tall chest of drawers on the opposite wall, figuring that he'd find a pair of sweats and a t-shirt that he could wear for the rest of the night. He found shirts in the first drawer he opened and he chose an old, well worn grey one that looked like it would fit. He slung it over his shoulder and moved to the next drawer across to look for sweats, and started rummaging around. The first item that he pulled out was a blue skirt, and Buck frowned, wondering who it could belong to. He then grimaced as he realised that Eddie had probably kept a few of Shannon’s clothes after her death. He peeked into the drawer, getting a better look and noticed several frilly and lacy items and blushed, hating his traitorous brain. Thinking of Eddie jerking off to a piece of his dead wife’s lingerie wasn’t something that a good friend, or even a decent human being, should ever do. 

He was just about to replace the skirt and close the drawer so he could pretend that he’d never seen anything inside of it when a photo caught his attention. He was reaching for it before he could tell himself to stop being nosey and his eyes widened in shock when he saw that it wasn’t a photo of Shannon by herself, or with Eddie or Christopher but a photo of Eddie. A _selfie_ of Eddie.

Eddie wearing skimpy white lingerie, towering heels, and a pout worthy of a Playboy centrefold. 

“Holy fucking shit,” Buck muttered breathlessly, as all of the blood in his body made a beeline for his cock. 

Who had Eddie taken the photo for? Was it a kink of Shannon’s? Or was it a kink of _Eddie’s?_ That was hotter than anything that Buck had been able to imagine by himself and his search for sweats was abandoned in favour of drinking in the sight before him. He simply couldn’t tear his eyes away, tracing the hard lines of Eddie’s abs that were softened by the gauzy material, the way that his legs looked both sleek yet powerful as they were elongated by the heels, the fierce look in his eyes that was both a challenge _and_ an invitation. 

Buck didn’t think that he’d ever been turned on so much before in his life. 

“Buck!” Christopher called from the kitchen. “I’ve finished my nuggets!”

“Just a second, buddy,” he called back and reluctantly placed the photo back in the drawer. He tried the next drawer down and was successful in finding some sweats and he quickly got dressed, then hurried back out to the kitchen to help Christopher clean up after dinner. 

He didn’t have much time to think about what he’d found before Eddie was home, dropping a kiss to Christopher’s head, squeezing Buck’s arm, and gushing over how well Chris’s teachers had said he was doing. Then they were all piling onto the couch, choosing a movie to watch, and as they sat in the darkened living room, Buck finally had a chance to think.

Besides the fact that he’d discovered something about his best friend that he was never meant to know, he wondered how he was ever supposed to jerk off again without picturing the Eddie in the photo. Buck did his best not to think of Eddie during those times, tried not to cross that line but he knew that he’d fail miserably the next time that he took himself in hand. Worse still, he really wanted to know if Eddie dressed up for his partners or if it was just for himself. Then Buck thought about the upbringing that Eddie had had and his time in the army, and he realised that this was likely something that Eddie rarely shared with anyone else at all, if ever. 

It must be incredibly lonely.

Buck shuffled down a little on the couch, pressing his leg closer against Eddie’s, and wished that he could be the one who Eddie could finally share this with.

* * *

“Need me to do anything else?” Eddie asked Karen, surveying the back garden that was set up for a horde of children to descend upon it for Denny’s birthday party.

Karen pursed her lips and then shook her head. “I think we’re all good out here. They’ll start arriving soon and all of our hard work will get destroyed.”

Eddie laughed. “That does tend to be the nature of the beast.” He looked over to where Christopher was busy playing with Denny already. “I guess I’ll go find Buck, see what he’s up to.”

“I think he was watching Nia inside,” Karen told him.

He thanked her and then went inside, stoping by the kitchen to get a drink of water on his way. He could hear Nia and Buck laughing from the living room and he couldn’t help but smile. Buck was so good with kids, a complete natural, and it made something clench tight within Eddie. Buck would make a fantastic dad one day but Eddie couldn’t help but pray that that was a long way off. It was selfish and horrible but it would mean that he and Chris would have Buck to themselves for a little bit longer. He knew that they would eventually lose Buck to a family of his own so he wanted to selfishly horde every minute that he could get with Buck before that time.

He wandered into the living room and froze at the sight before him, his blood running cold. Buck was sitting on the floor and Nia was standing in front of him, a pallet of makeup in one hand and a brush in her other. Buck’s face looked like a bag of skittles had barfed on him - his eyelids were a garish blend of blues, greens, and oranges, his cheeks had dark pink blusher covering almost all of them, and his lips (and the surrounding skin up to his nose and most of his chin) was smeared with a bright purple lipstick. 

“I make Bucky pretty!” Nia announced happily when she saw Eddie. 

Buck grinned at him. “What do you think, Eddie? Reckon I could make the next cover of Vogue?”

It took a few tries for Eddie to find his voice as he scanned Buck’s face, looking for any signs that he was disgusted or freaked out. He found none. “You could, uh, definitely be America’s Next Top Model.”

Buck beamed at him. “Thanks, Eds - you say the sweetest things!”

“Your turn!” Nia announced, pointing at Eddie.

“Uh…”

“Come on, it’s fun!” Buck said, patting the floor next to him.

“I don’t know,” he hedged.

Nia’s bottom lip trembled and Buck looked at him imploringly. It was impossible to say no to puppy dog eyes from _both_ of them so Eddie sighed and began to sit but froze at the sound of a voice behind them.

“What’s going on in here?”

He turned, half expecting to see his father, looking furious with a hand raised, but it was just Bobby, looking amused. 

“Your turn!” Nia cried, spying another participant.

Eddie half expected Bobby to make some excuse, to laugh it off and leave but he didn’t. He beamed at Nia and nodded. “Of course. I can’t pass up the opportunity to have LA’s finest makeup artist work on me.”

Eddie went to shuffle back, to make his own escape but Nia tugged on his jeans. “Sit,” she instructed. 

“I thought you were going to make Bobby pretty instead?” he asked.

“Buck do you,” she said, like it was obvious and she pushed at Eddie until he sank down onto the floor. 

“Don’t worry, Eds,” Buck assured him, examining the different colours that he had available in the powders and paints that had been half destroyed by an enthusiastic little girl, “I’ll make you beautiful.”

That’s what he was scared of.

It was one thing to look exactly like a toddler had attacked you with a rainbow, it was another to have someone carefully apply makeup that would, knowing Buck, be done with surprising skill. Eddie wasn’t sure if he would be able to control himself, and the last place that he wanted to be sporting a semi was at a damn kid’s party. And what if people could tell? What if after this they _knew?_ In one fell swoop his secret could be exposed to the world, out there for all to know.

He didn’t even realise that his breathing had become jagged until Buck threw him a worried look. “You okay, Eddie?”

“Uh huh,” he said, his chest growing tighter.

“You sure? You don’t have to sit through this if you don’t want to.” 

Would that be more of a red flag then if he went through with it? Would they question _why_ he’d kicked up a fuss and didn't want his face made up? Would they think that he was being homophobic? Or transphobic? Hell, he didn’t even _know_ what sort of phobic they’d think he was, but he wasn’t _any_ of them! 

Okay, he was totally overthinking this and he needed to get a damn grip. He wasn’t going to be the only one who was spending the entirety of the party with makeup slathered on his face. He was sure that Nia would find other people to ‘make pretty’ as well so it wouldn’t only be Buck, Bobby, and himself. And he could control himself, he could, he had to believe that. So he took a deep breath, got himself under control and gave Buck a small smile. “Nope, I’m all good. Let’s do this.”

Of course, giving Buck permission simply opened up another avenue of torture for Eddie. He had to sit still, his entire field of vision taken up by Buck’s face, who was taking his job as a makeup artist very seriously indeed. He deliberated over which colours would best suit Eddie’s complexion, had Eddie close his eyes and then used the most delicate touch to apply eyeshadow to his lids, and when he was painting Eddie’s lips, his own tongue peeked out in concentration. He could smell the spicy scent of Buck’s cologne, and felt light puffs on his cheeks from Buck’s breath. All of Eddie’s senses were being assaulted by Buck and it was totally overwhelming.

Once Buck was finally happy with his work, he brandished a small hand mirror with a flourish and asked, “How’s that?”

Eddie looked at his own reflection, barely recognising himself, his throat gone dry. His eyes were rimmed in kohl, his lips were a dark burgundy, and the way that his cheeks had been shaded gave his face a softness that wasn’t quite feminine. True to his word, Buck had made him beautiful. 

“Is it okay?” Buck asked, sounding hesitant. 

“Yeah, yeah it’s fine,” Eddie croaked. 

“I hope I look just as good,” Bobby said from beside him and Eddie looked over to see his captain looking much like Buck did. 

“Bobby pretty!” Nia announced. 

“Yes he is,” Buck agreed. “We’re _all_ pretty.”

In the end, almost all of the adults at the party were subjected to Nia’s ministrations so Eddie had nothing to worry about. Each time he caught sight of his reflection in a mirror or a window, his heart skipped a beat, and he had to tear his eyes away. When he got home and Christopher was asleep, he slipped into his favourite lingerie and jerked off in front of the mirror, feeling sexier than he ever had before.


	2. Chapter 2

“This one! Please?” 

Buck looked at the costume that Christopher was pointing at and grinned. “Captain Marvel, huh? Good choice, buddy - she’s _awesome!”_

“She’s _so_ strong! I want to be just like her when I grow up!”

Buck laughed, feeling his heart swell for Chris. He was looking after him for the day while Eddie was at a therapy session with Frank, and then Chris was being dropped at a sleepover for his friend, Paul’s, birthday. Buck and Eddie had planned on grabbing pizza and watching a movie afterwards that _wasn’t_ animated for once. So Buck and Christopher had called in at the mall to look for a birthday present for Paul and after they’d found one, they’d gotten distracted by looking at costumes in Walmart. Christopher had been amazed that you could buy them all year round, not only at Halloween. It hadn't taken much for him to persuade Buck to buy them each a costume so they could play when they got home.

A woman nearby tsked as she saw the costume that Chris had picked out and it took Buck a minute to figure out that it was because Carol Danvers was a _girl._ He tried not to show his irritation at the woman, not wanting Christopher to feel self conscious or like there was something wrong with his choice. It sucked that there were still super backwards people out there and damned if Buck was going to let one of them push their gender conforms onto Chris on his watch. He looked over at the adult costumes and quickly spied a good one. He picked it up and showed it to Christopher. “I think I’m gonna get this one,” he said.

Christopher’s eyes lit up. “Wonder Woman! She’s awesome too!”

“Yep, that means that we’ll _both_ be awesome!”

The woman made another disapproving sound and moved closer. “There are more _appropriate_ costumes for you,” she said, looking pointedly at the costumes based on male characters. 

Buck looked at them and then back at the woman. “No thanks, I’m good with this one.”

“I don’t think that one was quite designed for you, dear,” she told him in a condescending tone.

“I’m a little tall, yes, but I’ll be sure to wear some leggings underneath the skirt so it’s not too revealing,” he told her, being deliberately obtuse just to annoy her. 

“That’s not quite what I meant,” she snapped.

Buck made a show of thinking for a moment and then reached out and picked up another costume. “Ah, I get you now - Chris has a Marvel character and we want to match. I think I’ll go with Wanda Maximoff instead.”

The woman’s eyes were almost bugging out of her head now.

“Yeah, Buck, let Daddy be Diana! You can be Wanda!” Chris agreed.

The woman gasped, jumping to the conclusion that Buck was gay and was with Eddie (he wished) and taking great offense to that. She opened her mouth to begin whatever horrible tirade she felt the moment needed but Buck cut her off with a glare before she could even get started. “Let’s head to the checkout, Chris,” he said. “Come on.”

As they walked away, he heard the woman mutter, “Deviants,” but Christopher was too busy telling Buck how excited he was to get to dress up that he luckily didn’t hear.

It was only when they got back to the Diaz household that it dawned on Buck that Eddie might not be comfortable dressing up in a Wonder Woman costume. He’d had a minor freakout the previous month when Nia had wanted to put makeup on him so having to dress up in front of Buck might be too much for him to handle. Buck hoped that he would though - it had been hot as fuck to see Eddie in makeup and he longed to see him in a skirt in person. 

Chris wanted to change as soon as they got home and Buck was happy to let him. The Captain Marvel costume that they’d bought was a little long for him but he easily rolled up the hem for Chris and he was set. Buck was lucky that the corset top for the Scarlet Witch was made from stretchy material, but even then he had to leave the fastening at the neck undone to fit it across his chest. The pants only just fit, hugging every curve and when he added the long jacket, he held out his arms and asked, “How do I look?”

“So good!” Chris said, grinning madly at him.

They spent over an hour playing at being superheroes, and were in the middle of an epic fight when Eddie arrived home. He stopped in the doorway to the living room and took in Buck behind the couch and Christopher on top of the coffee table, faces flushed and sweaty from their battle. “Um…” he said.

“Daddy!” Christopher cried, but waited until Buck had vaulted the couch to help him down. “Daddy, we’re being superheroes!”

“I can see that,” Eddie said. “Those costumes look...elaborate.”

“Don’t stress, they’re just from Walmart, they didn't cost much,” Buck assured him.

“Good, because you know what I’ve said about spoiling him, Buck. Christopher doesn’t _need_ every toy that he makes heart eyes at when you take him out.”

Buck shrugged. “I got us all one, so I’m not just spoiling him.”

“We got you a Wonder Woman costume, Daddy!” Chris told him happily.

“I see,” Eddie said slowly, and Buck could tell that he was trying to keep it together. “Any particular reason why?”

“Because she’s awesome, just like you,” Christopher said, leaving the ‘duh’ unsaid. “Besides, we wanted to be the best superheroes and everyone knows that Wonder Woman and Scarlet Witch and Captain Marvel are stronger and better than the Hulk or Captain America or Superman.”

“You can’t argue with that,” Buck said.

Eddie’s eyes slowly scanned Buck in his costume before he said, “No, I suppose I can’t.”

“Come on, Daddy, you have to get dressed in your costume now!”

“Actually, _you_ need to get changed because we need to leave soon to get you to Paul’s house on time.”

Christopher pouted but it didn’t take much to convince him to get ready for the sleepover. Buck helped him out of his costume, promising that they’d play again the next time he was around, and then Eddie was hustling his son out the door and calling out that he’d be back soon. Buck phoned and placed an order for pizza so Eddie could pick it upon the way home, and then he grabbed a beer and plonked himself on the couch, and scrolled through his phone while he waited. 

He didn’t bother getting changed.

* * *

Eddie headed straight to the kitchen when he got home but from the corner of his eye he saw that Buck was still wearing that damn Scarlet Witch costume. Why? Why was he still wearing it? Fuck, he looked good in it, but worse still, Eddie wanted to _be_ the one wearing it. He thought about what Buck and Chris had told him - they’d bought him a Wonder Woman costume. He swallowed hard as he thought about the tiny skirt, the tight bodice, the shin guards…

Dammit, he was getting hard. He needed to pull himself together, push down the desire that was threatening to overwhelm him and act like a goddamn normal fucking adult. Was that so fucking hard?

“Eds, you okay?” Buck called from the living room.

“Yeah,” he called back. “Just getting a beer. You want one?”

“Nah, I’m good, got one here.”

He went to the fridge and pulled out two bottles anyway, flicking the cap off the first one and sculling it down. The fizz burned his throat but he didn't care, just needing to take the edge off his teetering emotions. Once he’d drained the first bottle, he took the second one in one hand and scooped the pizzas up in the other and made his way through to the living room.

“I’m starving,” Buck said, eyeing the pizzas. “Being a superhero is hard work.”

“I’m sure it is,” Eddie agreed blandly. 

“Are you going to join me?” Buck asked.

Eddie looked pointedly at the slice of pizza in his hand. “I thought I already was?”

“No, I mean, are you going to try your costume on?”

Was there something different about Buck’s tone? Did he sound funny? And why the hell did he want Eddie to get into costume just to eat pizza? “I figured that I’d leave that for when Christopher was here to see,” he said.

“Don’t want to see if it fits beforehand?”

He gave a vague wave at Buck’s body. “Given that you’ve squeezed yourself into that thing, I’m sure mine will fit just fine.”

Buck’s eyes took on a challenging glint. “What’s the matter, Diaz? Scared that you won’t look as good as me in your superhero digs?”

Dammit, why did he have to have such a competitive streak? "We both know that that's never gonna happen, Buckley."

"If you think you can beat this, by all means, prove me wrong.”

It was a terrible idea and he should absolutely not rise to the bait but he fucking _knew_ that he’d rock the shit out of that costume and he wasn’t going to let Evan Buckley think otherwise. He threw his pizza back in the box, took a swig of his beer and then stood. “Oh, I will,” he said, and then marched off to his bedroom, swiping the costume along the way.

As soon as he was alone, he let the confident demeanor slip and he began to silently berate himself for being so fucking stupid. This was such a bad idea, _so_ damn bad. Not only was he giving into temptation and indulging but he was doing it when _Buck_ was here, which was a recipe for disaster. One cup of kink plus one piece of man meat that Eddie wanted to climb like a tree really would equal one monumentally embarrassing moment. There was no way that he was getting through this without revealing his deepest, darkest secret about himself.

Maybe they’d just laugh it off? They’d drink enough beer that they’d be able to dismiss Eddie’s reaction to the situation as simply due to the booze. If he had to admit to anything, he’d maybe reveal a little of the crush that he had on his best friend. That was less mortifying than explaining that he got off on wearing anything frilly, lacy, and not purchased in the men’s section. 

Too stubborn to back out now, Eddie stripped out of his jeans and henley and then opened the packaging, pulling out the costume. The bodice was made of cheap, stretchy material and he stepped into it, pulling it up his torso instead of wriggling his head into it. It stretched tight across his chest and his breath caught as he caught sight of himself in the mirror. His pecs actually filled out the breast cups perfectly, and his waist naturally tapered in, so the top half looked amazing. 

He shucked his boxers and changed into a snug pair of boxer briefs since the skirt was both short and tight, and then he wiggled into it. His hips were too narrow to give the bottom part of the costume the curves that it deserved but that didn't matter too much. He eyed the shin guards but decided against them, since without heels, he’d look more like a Roman centurion than an Amazonian. He pulled on the wrist guards, slipped the headpiece on and then turned to take in the full effort in the mirror.

Eddie groaned, fighting but failing to stop his dick from getting hard at the sight. Seeing his powerful thighs barely covered by the skirt, the way that the bodice hugged his chest, it was almost too much. He wanted to lock the door and touch himself but he couldn’t, because Buck was still here and was waiting for him to return. How could he face him like this? One look at Eddie’s face and Buck would know, he couldn’t miss it. Fuck, fuck, _fuck._

“Come on, Eddie, you can do this,” he muttered to himself, and then tried to think of the most non-arousing thing that he could think of. He thought of sewers, and vomit, and finally of Donald Trump’s smirk and that finally did it. His cock shrivelled up and tried to crawl up inside of him.

Before Buck could call him a chicken, Eddie took a deep breath and opened the bedroom door. His immediate instinct was to strut down the hallway, swing his hips, feel the way that the skirt pressed his legs together but he couldn’t do that. Instead he deliberately stomped into the living room, his shoulders not quite slouched. He wanted to win their silly competition but at the same time he needed to keep hidden the way the costume actually made him feel. 

It was even harder when Buck looked up and saw him and his jaw dropped and his eyes darkened. Eddie recognised desire when he saw it and he _knew_ that Buck found this hot. Of course, being Buck, he was totally honest. “Holy shit, Eddie, you win hands down. Damn that looks good!”

He forced a cocky grin onto his face and said, “Told ya so. Now that we’ve settled it, I’m gonna go and get changed again.”

“Nuh uh, not before we grab a photo for Christopher.”

Eddie froze and he was sure that he went pale. “No,” he uttered.

“Come on, he’ll think it’s awesome.”

Eddie shook his head. “He can see it in person when we play dress ups with him.”

Buck frowned. “You look great, Eddie. No one’s gonna laugh at you.”

“See, you saying that proves that it won’t just be Chris seeing the photo, and no thanks. Not gonna happen.”

“You look great, Eddie. I don’t see what you’re so worried about.”

“Buck, drop it,” Eddie said, his tone growing sharper by the second.

“But -”

_“Buck! I said no!”_

The only thing worse than Buck’s puppy dog eyes was when he looked like someone had _kicked_ a puppy. His whole face fell and he seemed to shrink into himself. “Sorry.”

Eddie felt like a dick. “I’m sorry, I just don’t feel comfortable having a photo taken, okay.”

Buck’s next words made Eddie’s blood freeze. “Is it because you like it?”

“Excuse me?” he croaked when he finally found his voice.

“Is it because you like it, being in women’s clothing?”

He barked out a slightly hysterical laugh. “What? That’s ridiculous. I don’t know what you mean.”

“Eddie,” Buck said gently, “I know.”

“Know what?” he asked, his voice cracking.

“I didn’t mean to, it’s not like I was looking, but I saw the photo, Eddie. The one in your drawer.”

His heart stopped dead in his chest and he couldn’t breathe. No. This couldn’t be happening. It had to be some horrible nightmare and if he willed it hard enough, he’d wake up, he just had to.

But he didn’t.

Buck looked distraught but he wasn’t backing down. “It’s okay, Eddie, there’s nothing wrong wi -”

“Get out.”

Buck’s eyes went wide. “What?”

“You need to leave,” Eddie told him, his voice hard. “Now.”

“Eddie, I -”

_“Leave. Now.”_

Buck looked like he was going to cry but he nodded. He grabbed his keys off the coffee table but didn't bother grabbing his regular clothes that were slung over the back of a chair. He seemed completely unperturbed about walking out into the street dressed as the Scarlet Witch. He headed for the door but paused with his hand on the handle. “Eddie, I’m sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.”

Eddie didn’t say anything, just watched as Buck finally left, before he collapsed on the couch, his entire world crumbling down around him.


	3. Chapter 3

Buck got into his car, thumping his hands on the steering wheel in frustration. How had he fucked that up so badly? He should have let the matter drop, should have just gotten changed and enjoyed their evening the way that it was originally planned. Why the hell had he gone and goaded Eddie like that, deliberately provoking his competitive streak? And then to push the issue about the photo? Just because he wanted one for himself, one that he didn't have to picture in his imagination because he had memorised the photo that seen for five seconds months and months ago. 

He groaned, dropping his forehead onto his hands for a moment. He sighed and then started the engine, before making his way home. He spent the entire drive going over and over their conversation in his head, thinking of ways that it could have gone instead, how it might have ended up. Maybe if he’d been clearer, that he found the whole thing hot as fuck, maybe that would have made Eddie feel better. Maybe he should have just kissed him like he’d wanted to long before he even knew about the crossdressing. If he’d not been such a dumbass, maybe they could be making out on the couch right now instead of him driving home, fuming at himself, and Eddie...fuck, Eddie must be a damn mess right now.

He pulled into his parking space and stomped his way up to his apartment, ignoring the wolf whistle that he received from a drunk guy stumbling down the path. Even after he’d gotten changed, he felt antsy, and simply couldn’t settle. He hated the way that they’d left things tonight, hated that Eddie was dealing with this by himself. Buck picked up his phone and was on the verge of calling or texting several times but hesitated each time. He didn’t think that he could fix this with just a phone call. 

He stood in the kitchen, drumming his fingers on his thighs, glaring at his phone. A moment later he was moving, his mind made up. He scooped up his car keys and phone and then was out the door. He couldn’t fix this over the phone so he just had to do it in person and fucked if he'd let it wait until tomorrow. Eddie was too damned important for this to be put off longer than necessary. He was going back.

He didn't let himself second guess his decision as he pulled up behind Eddie’s truck and got out. He didn't knock, simply let himself in with his key and went looking for Eddie. He didn't have to go far - Eddie was sitting on the couch, head in his hands, still in the damn costume. It looked like he’d sunk down after Buck had left and not moved at all since. 

He did look up when Buck threw his keys on the coffee table, his eyes going wide. “What are you doing here?” he asked in a small voice.

“What I should have done before,” Buck said, then he reached down and grabbed hold of Eddie’s wrists, pulling him to his feet.

“Buck -”

He cut him off with a kiss, pouring everything that he felt into it, hoping that Eddie could translate it. It took a moment but then Eddie was kissing him back, drinking in the apologies, the desire, the understanding, and the acceptance that Buck had put into the kiss. It was a heady feeling, to have Eddie’s lips on him and Buck felt like he was soaring. He slipped his hands down to Eddie’s hips, clutching at him to ground them both. Eddie made a broken kind of noise and slotted himself in between Buck’s legs, pressing against him.

They finally broke apart, breathing heavily and Buck traced a reverent finger down Eddie’s cheek. “You are so beautiful,” he murmured.

“Just now?” Eddie asked.

“God, no - all the time,” Buck assured him. “Fuck, Eddie, I’ve wanted you since forever, you’re all that I think about. I mean, yes you’re fucking gorgeous like this, but I want you in turnout gear, or in jeans and a tee, or in a suit, or in nothing at all. It doesn’t matter what you wear, Eddie, because it’s _you_ that I want, not the wrapping.”

Eddie gave him an almost shy smile and then shoved Buck backwards hard. He stumbled and fell onto the couch and Eddie made short work of straddling his lap. Buck’s hands automatically went to his thighs, and he could feel the skirt of the costume riding up, revealing more and more skin. It was sexy as fuck. 

They fell to kissing again, a slow, lazy make out session, both of them coming to an unspoken agreement that they didn't need to rush, that they had time. Every now and then, Buck would grind his hips up, feeling the hardness of Eddie’s erection trapped within the confines of the skirt. He cupped him through the material, squeezing and massaging, just enough to keep Eddie panting for more but not enough friction to actually _do_ anything. 

“Fuck, you drive me crazy,” Eddie muttered, throwing his head back as he thrust against Buck’s palm. 

“Not as much as you do me,” Buck told him. “God, I want to taste you so bad.”

“What are you waiting for then?”

Buck grinned and then held Eddie close before standing up in a display of strength. Eddie’s legs tightened around Buck’s hips and he turned around, lowering him gently back down to the couch. Buck then walked his fingers up Eddie’s thighs, under the skirt and all the way up until he could hook them under the waistband of the tight boxer briefs that he was wearing. He slowly dragged them down, turning them inside out as he stripped them off Eddie’s legs before tossing them over his shoulder. He then spread Eddie’s legs and positioned himself on his knees between them and he gazed up at him. Eddie looked back at him, his heart in his eyes and if Buck wasn’t already in love, he was now. There was a vulnerability there that Buck had never seen before and he was touched that Eddie was trusting him with it. He wouldn’t let him down.

Leaning in, Buck nosed at Eddie’s cock through the cheap material of the costume, feeling it twitch beneath. He then rucked the skirt up around Eddie’s hips enough to free his cock but leaving him mostly dressed. He reached up and traced his fingers over Eddie’s exposed collarbones, down over the padding of the corset top, before circling Eddie’s shaft in a loose grip. He licked his lips to get them nice and moist and then he bent his head down and mouthed at the crown. 

Eddie gasped and his hands clenched at the couch cushions to either side of him. Buck smiled a little, grateful that Eddie seemed to be the responsive type. It would make it easier to learn exactly what he liked. He twirled his tongue around and around the head, licking over the slit every now and then and cleaning off the precome that was pooling there. He dropped down, licking up the sides of his cock, then moving even lower and lapping at his balls. Eddie groaned and spread his legs further, and Buck took that as the invitation that it clearly was.

He gently hooked a hand under Eddie’s knee, moving it over his shoulder, giving him even more access. He mouthed at Eddie’s balls, licking over the soft fuzz that covered them, then sucking them into his mouth as much as possible. Eddie began to writhe above him and he reached a hand down to stroke himself but Buck batted it away. “Hands off, this is mine,” he warned him possessively. 

Eddie whined but did as he was told, running his hands over his upper body, tugging the top down until one brown nipple was exposed and rolling it between his fingers. Buck paused so he could watch, his own cock throbbing at how hot it was, wishing that he had five more hands so he could touch all of the places that he wanted to at once. Eddie’s eyes locked with Buck’s and the sheer need in them was mind blowing. 

Buck lowered his face back down, taking Eddie’s cock into his mouth and tonguing along the shaft. He bobbed his head, keeping up a steady suction but he didn't want this to be over too quickly. He pulled his mouth away and moved back down to Eddie’s balls, laving them with his tongue, then nosing further back to lick over his perineum. Eddie’s musk surrounded him and Buck breathed in deeply, wanting to be completely immersed in it.

“Buck, please,” Eddie cried from above, his hips bucking into nothingness.

He worked his way back up, licking off the puddle of precome that had formed on Eddie’s navel before taking him back into his mouth. He continued to move from cock, to balls, to perineum and then back, over and over, never giving Eddie enough time to fall into a rhythm, driving him crazier and crazier. Eventually he relented though, when Eddie was all but a whimpering mess and Buck sucked just a little harder, one finger dropping down to circle around Eddie’s hole. He pressed in, just a little, so just the very tip of his finger dipped inside and that was enough. Eddie cried out, pulsing inside of Buck’s mouth and he swallowed it all down, working Eddie through his release.

Pulling off before Eddie became too sensitive, Buck smiled up at him, rubbing his hands over his thighs, feeling the muscle quiver and spasm beneath them. 

“That was amazing,” Eddie said, his voice hoarse. 

“I’m glad that I could make you feel good.”

“Buck?”

“Yeah?”

Eddie dropped his eyes, looking shy and he asked in a hesitant voice, “Come on me?”

His possessiveness roared back to life and Buck was on his feet in an instant. He shoved his sweats down and grabbed hold of his cock, stripping it roughly as he stood over Eddie. He was so turned on by the sight of Eddie laying sprawled on the couch, looking utterly debauched, and his taste still lingering on Buck’s tongue, that he didn't last long. He came with a shout, aiming his cock so his load hit Eddie on the chest and neck and as soon as he’d stopped coming, he was gathering Eddie into his arms and holding him close. 

“Christ, Eddie, you have no idea how amazing you are,” Buck whispered against his throat.

Eddie pressed a kiss to his temple. “I could say the same about you.”

They stayed that way for a while until Eddie shifted and said, “If I don’t get this cleaned off, I’m gonna have to buy a new one before we play dress ups with Chris.”

Buck laughed. “Maybe we should buy you a different one, anyway. I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep my hands off of you if you wear this and I really don’t want to traumatise your son.”

“You’re insatiable,” Eddie said with a chuckle.

“Only for you,” Buck assured him.

They got cleaned up and Eddie changed into sweats and a tee, then they curled around each other on the couch. “Thank you,” Buck whispered.

“For what?” Eddie asked.

“For not kicking me out a second time.”

Eddie sighed. “I’m sorry I did the first time. I was just scared.”

“God, Eddie, I don’t blame you for that. I’m the one who fucked up. I shouldn’t have pushed, I shouldn’t have said anything. I let my own desires get the best of me and I was a jerk.”

“I’m kind of glad you pushed…”

“Yeah?”

Eddie nodded. “It was nice, to finally be able to share this part of me with someone.”

Buck felt warmth bloom in his chest and he hugged him tighter. “I’m honoured that you shared it with me. Thank you for trusting me with it.”

“You really find it a turn on?” Eddie asked, unsure.

“I’m not gonna lie, Eddie - it’s hot as fuck, but I meant what I said earlier. I like _you,_ first and foremost it’s you that I want.”

“Thank you, that means a lot to me.”

“Just know that I’m not ever gonna judge. If there’s something that you want to try, some fantasy that you want to fulfil, you just have to tell me. I’ll do anything for you, Eddie.”

“Same goes for you,” Eddie told him. “I might be a little repressed thanks to my upbringing, but I’m happy to explore anything with you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. How ‘bout for now, we chose a movie and finish what we started earlier?”

“Oh? What was that?” Eddie asked.

Buck’s stomach growled and he gave him a sheepish look. “Pizza.”

Eddie laughed and leaned in to kiss Buck and he melted against him, knowing that everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's one more chapter of this to come but it might take a couple of days to post as my weekend has totally disappeared on me!


	4. Chapter 4

Eddie paced nervously, his eyes darting constantly to the clock on the wall. Buck would be here at any moment, and Eddie’s stomach roiled at the thought, a mixture of excitement and terror. This was the first night since they’d gotten together that they had had time to themselves. Buck had been around most nights after their shifts but Christopher had always been there, but tonight he was at a sleepover and Eddie and Buck had the whole evening together. 

They had Plans with a capital P.

Eddie hadn't been able to ask for what he wanted out loud. His throat closed up each time that he tried and so he’d resorted to texting, finding it easier to be open and honest via that medium. Buck hadn’t laughed or judged, had simply gone along with it and Eddie would be eternally grateful for that. 

_Eddie: You told me that if I had any fantasies that I should let you know._

_Buck: I did. You have something in mind?_

_Eddie: Yes…_

_Buck: You know that I won’t judge you, babe._

_Eddie: I know, but it’s still hard to talk about this._

_Buck: Whenever you’re ready. No pressure._

_Eddie: So, you know the photo that you saw?_

_Buck: I couldn’t forget it if I tried - it’s my happy place_ 😙

_Eddie: I was thinking that we could recreate it._

_Buck: I’d LOVE to see that._

_Eddie: I think I’d really rather love you to see it too._

_Buck: Can I offer a suggestion?_

_Eddie: Of course._

_Buck: Maybe before you get changed, I could do your makeup? You seemed to like when I did it before._

_Eddie. Oh God._

_Buck: Is that a yes?_

_Eddie: Fuck yeah it is._

_Buck: Sounds like we’ve got ourselves a date_ 😘

_Eddie: We just need to find a night that works._

So now they had the night, Eddie had the lingerie, and Buck was pulling into the driveway and he had the makeup. Eddie swallowed hard, trying not to get too worked up. The way that he was heading he would either pass out from hyperventilating or come the minute that Buck uncapped the lipstick. Neither option would be overly sexy.

Before Buck could even let himself in with his key, Eddie had the door open. He relaxed the minute that he saw Buck’s genuine smile and he leaned in and gave him a soft kiss. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Buck said, wrapping his free arm around Eddie’s waist and pulling him in for an embrace. “God I missed you.”

Eddie laughed. “You saw me two hours ago at work.”

Buck winked. “Yeah, and I missed you.”

Eddie batted him playfully on the shoulder and closed the door once Buck was inside. Buck held up a takeout bag and said, “I grabbed Thai for dinner. Hope you’re hungry.”

They got themselves a beer and sat down to eat, chatting about all manner of things. Buck shared some gossip that he heard from Carla about one of the school moms, Eddie updated Buck about his abuela’s latest doctor’s appointment, and they debated over whether or not two of their colleagues on B shift were having an affair. It was fun and carefree and Eddie found himself relaxing more and more until he wondered what the hell he’d ever been nervous about. This was _Buck,_ his best friend - there was absolutely no reason to get self conscious around him.

Once they’d finished eating and had started on their second beers, Buck fetched a small case that he’d brought over and unzipped it at the table. “I wasn’t sure what colours you’d like so I got a few different sorts,” he said, showing Eddie the items that he'd gotten.

Eddie picked up a tube of lipstick and broke the seal so he could see the colour. It was a burnt red and his pulse sped up just imagining it on himself. “I like this one,” he commented.

Buck grinned. “We can use that one tonight, save the others for next time if you’d like.”

Next time. Eddie liked the sound of that. “Sounds good. So, where do you want to do this?”

“The light in here is good and it’s probably more comfortable than squeezing the both of us into your bathroom,” Buck said.

Eddie nodded. “Okay.”

“You might want to take your shirt off so we don’t get powder on it,” Buck warned.

“Yeah, it’ll also stop me from smearing my lipstick afterwards.” He quickly stripped out of it and threw it onto one of the spare chairs. 

Buck got out the rest of the items that he wanted to use today and Eddie noted that he had foundation and powder, eyeshadow to match the lipstick, eyeliner, and even mascara. “Okay, you ready?” Buck asked.

Eddie nodded, hoping to convey in that one look just how much he trusted Buck. “Yeah.”

Buck began, and he was just as reverent and careful as he’d been previously. He touched Eddie more this time, caressing his cheek, cupping his jaw to tilt his face into the light, resting his thigh in between Eddie’s legs. It was nice, and it made Eddie feel cherished. No one had ever made him feel that way before and he soaked it up, basking in the warmth of the feeling like a cat in a beam of sunlight. 

Buck finished with the lipstick, his thumb tracing the bottom of Eddie’s lip to neaten it and Eddie pressed his lips together, feeling the tacky waxiness of the lipstick. “How does it look?” he asked.

Buck smiled, his large, joyous smile, and he said, “Eddie, if I didn't know that you’d be upset about me ruining all my hard work, I’d kiss you senseless right now. You look amazing.”

Eddie leaned in, his voice dropping an octave or two and husked, “Don’t worry, you’ll end up with this lipstick circling your cock before too long, Buck.”

Buck groaned and he reached down and squeezed himself through his jeans. “Okay, if you keep that up I’m going to shoot my load in my pants like a preteen.”

Eddie gave him a fierce grin and then stood up. “Give me ten minutes. I’ll call you when I’m ready.” He trailed a finger along Buck’s cheek and let his hand drop as he sauntered away, pausing in the doorway to throw a coy look over his shoulder. 

Buck’s smitten expression was worth it.

He took his time getting dressed, savouring each moment. This was the first time that he was dressing not only for himself but for someone else. That he could finally share this with someone after all this time felt monumental and he knew that there was no going back after this. Eddie stripped off and then crossed to his top drawer, his fingers caressing the gauzy material of the lingerie for a moment before he gently too it out. He had debated wearing pantyhose but had decided against it since he hated the way that his leg hair poked through and he really didn't want to shave his legs, so he kept it to the babydoll, the panties, and his heels. 

Once he was dressed, he took a minute to examine the final result in the mirror. He hadn't realised what a difference the makeup would make and he stood there, entranced for a long moment, just staring at his reflection. He reached up, trailing a finger down over his torso, leaving shivers in his wake, wondering how much more intense it would feel when the hands on him were Buck’s.

He was ready to find out.

Eddie opened the door and called out, “I’m ready,” then debated whether he should try and position himself provocatively on the bed. Besides the fact that he didn't really have time to maneuver into some sort of pinup pose, he knew that he’d look ridiculous and so he just stood there, trying to look nonchalant as he waited for Buck.

Buck appeared in the doorway and froze, his eyes slowly trailing down Eddie’s body then back up again, his eyes dark with desire. He looked for so long that Eddie began to feel self conscious and he reached up to rub the back of his neck and said, “Take a photo, it’ll last longer.”

It was meant as an off the cuff quip, a way to lighten the moment but a full body shudder went through Buck at the suggestion. “Can I?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

Eddie considered this, still not feeling comfortable with a photo taken on an electronic device, but he did still have the polaroid camera. He nodded and crossed to his wardrobe, digging out the camera and handing it over to Buck. “Where do you want me?” he asked.

Holding the camera in one hand, Buck’s other hand went to Eddie’s waist and slid around it as he circled around until he was standing pressed against Eddie’s back. “I was thinking right here,” he murmured, holding the camera up in one large hand to take a selfie. Eddie leaned back against Buck as he looked up at the lens, and just as the shutter clicked, he felt lips on his bare shoulder. The camera spit out the film and they stood there, Buck’s arm still holding Eddie around the waist, his head on his shoulder as they waited for it to develop. 

Given the attire that Eddie was wearing, the photo was softer than it had any right to be. His breath caught as he looked at how they were standing, pressed together like they couldn't bear for there to be an inch between each other, Buck’s expression loving as his lips brushed skin, Eddie looking _comfortable_ and _at ease_ in his skin. It was perfect.

“Thank you,” Buck whispered. “Ever since I saw the other one, I’ve wanted one for myself. Of course, now I actually get _you_ all to myself and that’s so much better.” He stepped away and placed the camera and the photo on top of the dresser and then he was back, his hands on Eddie’s hips as he leaned in and mouthed at his throat. “I want you so much.”

“I’m yours, Buck.”

Buck walked him back to the bed and then he took Eddie by surprise, scooping him into his arms before climbing onto the bed and laying him gently down on the pillow. It was an odd sensation - Eddie was used to being the stronger one in a relationship and to have someone who matched his strength, who could easily lift him was more of a turn on than he’d thought it would be. He laughed, causing Buck to grin and he leaned up to peck his lips. “You’re such a dork.”

“But I’m your dork,” Buck said.

They’d not really discussed exactly what they were to one another but Eddie realised that they hadn't _had_ to. Their friendship hadn't changed all that much since their first night together, this was just another layer of depth to it. Buck was _always_ going to be a part of his life, he was _always_ going to be there, but now _always_ just meant that in all things, not just in the capacity of best friend. “Yeah, you are,” he agreed and pulled Buck down into a proper kiss.

When they broke apart, Buck’s lips were smeared with red lipstick and Eddie reached up to touch. He looked so sexy and Eddie wondered if Buck would be open to the idea of dressing up with him one day. He shelved the thought for now, promising himself that he’d bring it up later but for now, they had other plans. 

Buck seemed to agree and he shimmied his way down Eddie’s body, tickling him along the way with his nose. He used his face to worm his way under the hem of the babydoll, snuffling like a dog and making Eddie snort with laughter. He tilted his head to catch a glimpse of Buck and he could see that he was grinning like an idiot. He hadn’t laughed so much during sex in years and it felt so damn good. 

Then Buck was mouthing at his cock through the panties and the laughter died in Eddie’s throat, replaced instead with a gasp of pleasure. His tongue, long and wet, worked up and over the shaft, through the material, and then warm air ghosted over the head as Buck breathed over it through the damp material of the panties. His cock twitched within their confines and his hips arched, eager for more. 

One of Buck’s large hands reached up to caress Eddie’s chest and sides, his finger zoning in on a peaked nipple. He rubbed over the sensitive little nub, then pinched in gently between two fingers, making Eddie squirm, his eyes falling closed. He’d always loved nipple play but very few of his partners had ever indulged him. It felt nice to have someone else’s hands on them that weren’t his own.

Then suddenly Buck was gone, his warmth disappearing, leaving Eddie feeling cold. His eyes snapped open and he saw Buck standing over the bed, stripping out of his clothes. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly, “I just needed to get naked.”

Eddie smiled and stretched out, putting himself on display. “I’m not going to complain about that,” he purred, drinking in the sight of Buck’s fully naked body properly for the first time. The last time had been so hurried that he’d never really gotten a chance to just _look._ Buck was beautiful, long and muscular with his broad shoulders and tattoos that drew the eye to the most perfect of places. Eddie wanted him so badly. He reached out to him with grabby hands, making Buck laugh as he fell back onto the bed and into Eddie’s embrace.

They kissed again, enjoying the sensation of their hard bodies pressed against each other with the gauzy fabric between them. Every now and then Buck would roll his hips, sending pleasure coursing through them, and soon parts of the babydoll were soaked through from both of their leaking cocks. Then Buck lifted Eddie's leg by the ankle and rubbed his cheek against the side of the heel, peppering the top of his foot with kisses. "I do love these," he said.

"I'm glad," Eddie told him. "Those I should probably have taken them off before getting on the bed."

Buck began to unbuckle the heel, gently slipping it off of Eddie's foot before kissing his way down his calf to his knee. Then he lowered that leg and picked up the other, removing the second heel and kissing up that calf as well. He kept going this time, moving up Eddie's whole body until they were kissing one another again. Buck tongued along Eddie's lower lip, then moved across his cheek to his ear. “Need you, Eds,” Buck murmured, nibbling on his ear lobe before sucking gently.

“Wanna feel you, Buck, please, fuck me.”

Buck’s pupils dilated at that and he scrambled up onto his knees. "You sure? I thought you wanted to paint my cock with your lipstick?"

Eddie grinned. "We can save that for later tonight. Right now I want you inside of me."

“Have you got everything?”

Eddie tilted his head at the bedside table. “Second drawer.”

As Buck grabbed the lube and a condom, Eddie rolled himself over onto his stomach, spreading his legs wide. He hooked a finger under the hem of his panties and snapped them against his skin. “Do you want these on or off?” he asked.

“How ‘bout halfway?” Buck suggested, lowering them until they were tucked under the swell of his ass. He kneaded Eddie’s cheeks with his hands and asked, “How long since you’ve done this?”

“It’s been a while with someone else,” Eddie admitted, “but I do have some toys that I play with when I can.”

“Fuck, that’s hot.”

“You’re not gonna break me, Buck,” he assured him.

Buck took him at his word and squeezed a dollop of lube onto his fingers and began to spread it over Eddie’s hole, dipping his finger in every now and then. He wasn’t rushing, but he wasn’t drawing it out and teasing Eddie either. They were both too eager for that. Then he was adding more lube and fingering Eddie properly, stretching him open with two of his thick digits. Eddie moaned and rocked up onto them, wanting Buck deeper. It was only a couple of minutes later that he was demanding that Buck get on with it.

“Bossy little bottom, aren’t you?” Buck commented, giving his ass a playful smack, but he tore open the condom and began to sheath himself.

“Just horny as fuck and wanting you,” Eddie argued.

Buck pulled Eddie up onto his knees, lifting the hem of the babydoll up and out of the way as he lined himself up. Then he was slowly pushing in, and Eddie let out a slow breath, baring down, urging his body to open up and take Buck’s cock. Buck paused when he was halfway in, rocking back and forth a few times to help spread the lube, then he was sinking in even further. Eventually he was fully seated and they both took a moment to just breathe through the sensation. 

“You good?” Buck asked hoarsely.

“Fuck, yes.”

Buck grabbed Eddie’s hips and began fucking him harder, pulling almost all the way out and then pressing back in, grinding his pelvis against Eddie’s ass when he was all the way in. Eddie braced himself on his hands, rocking back to meet Buck’s thrusts, his own cock still trapped within the front confines of the panties, hard and leaking. 

Then Buck slid a hand into Eddie’s hair and tightened it into a fist, tugging on the roots and Eddie gasped, clenching around Buck’s length in encouragement. Buck stilled his hips, using his grip in Eddie’s hair to pull him back onto his cock and Eddie went willingly, allowing himself to be manhandled. The angle changed and suddenly Buck’s cock was rubbing against his prostate and the entire sensation heightened. Pleasure began to build within Eddie, gradually increasing with each pass of his cock and his breath hitched in anticipation. 

Then Buck used his grip in Eddie’s hair to pull him back until he was sitting on his heels, his back pressed against Buck’s chest. They paused for a moment, catching their breaths and Eddie began to clench his muscles rhythmically, squeezing around Buck for all he was worth. “Holy shit,” Buck hissed and he reached around and dipped his hand into the panties, taking hold of Eddie’s cock. 

They began to move once more, Buck stroking him while Eddie fucked himself on Buck’s cock. Buck’s hand stilled as his whole body stiffened as he came, and Eddie couldn't help himself. Instead of fucking backwards onto Buck, he thrust forwards, into his fist, chasing his own orgasm that was teetering on the precipice. It didn’t take much and he cried out, shuddering as he came all over Buck’s hand. They slumped against one another, riding out the waves of pleasure. 

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re the sexiest man to have ever lived?” Buck murmured against Eddie’s shoulder, wrapping his clean arm around him and holding him close.

Eddie laughed, and shook his head. “No, no one has.”

“Well, it’s true,” Buck told him. “Consider yourself told.”

Eddie turned his head so he could press a kiss to Buck’s temple through his smile. “You’re very sweet.”

“You deserve the world, Eds.”

“Luckily, you _are_ my world, you and Chris.”

Buck chuckled at that. “Who would have thought that you’d be all sappy post coitus?”

Eddie wrinkled his nose. “I was until you used the term ‘post coitus’. You remind me of my old sex ed teacher.”

They giggled against one another and then Buck crawled off the bed, holding a hand out to Eddie. "Shower?”

Eddie looked at the hand, still smeared in his own come and he deliberately climbed off the bed without taking the offered hand. “I think that’s a good idea.”

Buck plastered a mock offended expression on his face. “What’s the matter, Eddie? You don't want my help?”

“Not _that_ help,” he teased.

“Honestly, I _try_ to be a gentleman and look where it gets me,” Buck declared dramatically.

“Maybe you need to try harder,” Eddie retorted.

“Oh, that’s it, you’ve asked for it,” Buck said and then he held out his hand and began to chase Eddie around the bedroom, trying his best to get him with his jizz hand.

“Ew, stop it!” Eddie cried through his laughter, ducking out of the way of the weapon of mass ejaculation. 

Buck finally caught him in the hallway, pinning Eddie to the wall and kissing him soundly, before smearing his face with the cold, congealing come.

“I hate you,” Eddie spluttered in indignation. 

“No you don’t, you love me,” Buck said.

Eddie reached up and cupped Buck’s cheek and said, in all seriousness, “Yeah, actually I do.”

When Buck reached for him to kiss him again, Eddie didn't shy away this time, happy to have Buck, mess and all. When Buck whispered, “I love you too,” against his lips, Eddie was overcome with happiness that someone finally saw him and loved him for who he was.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find a moodboard for this fic [here](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4366aa2e46f4c81e5f6ecf78ac040ffe/42f41457637c7694-51/s1280x1920/afded198b4870c684857ebb0dab816568adb3840.png)
> 
> Come say hi on [Tumblr.](https://scarletmanuka1.tumblr.com/)


End file.
